You don't have to read this, I'm just whining.

(I have to get these thoughts out of my head SOMEWHERE. So here they'll sit). Well, it's done. The circus is with their dad. Yesterday was hard. I felt anxious all day with an upset stomach. Usually I'm a speed demon on the road, more into actually getting to where I'm going than enjoying the ride, but not yesterday. Yesterday I stuck to the speed limit. That damn speed limit got me to Currant Creek anyway. Currant Creek is the half way point (or as close to half way as you're going to get, as half way is in the middle of no where. Currant Creek is in the middle of no where, but at least it's an actual gas station that can be recognized. I've been surprised, it's quite the "swapping kids" place for parents. At any given trip out there I've seen one to five other parents swapping kids too) to Vernal. Tayler was bawling. Cali was sniffling. Brynn and Cas seemed OK, probably being old enough to know a vacation and be excited for it. Knowing they'd see Mom soon enough. Tayler broke my heart. She hugged me and hugged me and the tears flowed, "I'm going to miss yooooouuuuuu...." Of course I started crying too. I was trying so hard to hold it back for her, to be strong and encouraging, "you're going to have fun, sweetie. You can call me." But the tears came and I don't know how convincing I was saying this ha ha. Each girl packed a stuffed penguin to sleep with. I got back in my car and pulled away and BAWLED. But only for 30 seconds. That's all I was going to allow myself. It's only two weeks. I have this ache in the pit of my stomach for how quiet the house is and how alone I am, and I MISS those girls who drive me absolutely insane every other day. I feel a little guilty for trying to let go and feel free. I'm trying to make myself let go anyway. I have no reason to feel guilty, I'm not being a slacker. I should enjoy the time that has come naturally with the situation. All I can say is thank goodness for West keeping me entertained! And thank goodness for nightly phone calls.