Girl nuts and disco sticks

Oh Cali.
"Mom! Tayler kicked me in the nuts and it really hurt!"
"Cali, do you even know what that means?" (I'm desperately trying not to laugh).
"No..."
"Then why are you saying it?"
Well, she apparently did know the basics of what it meant, because when asked where it was that she was kicked, she had the right area.
And then she got a rudimentary lesson on female and male genitalia.  With a rough sketch... very rough.
Any questions?
Yes.  To set the next question up I should tell you that the kids got new mp3 players for Christmas and apparently Cali had some Lady Gaga downloaded to hers.  "What's a disco stick?"
I think it will be a few years before Cali realizes how perfectly timed that question was.  How do you explain a ride on a disco stick to the one and only child who was asleep for The Talk? Well, we just covered the basics of genitalia, so how about how they're used? Roughly... very roughly.  She was disgusted and Lady Gaga has been banned from our house.  I don't need her speeding these things up for me anymore.

THE talk

Are you ready for this? I need to post this conversation so I can always remember it. It's a keeper! This happened a few months ago. My ex had just had a baby, West's ex had just had a baby, our neighbor had just had a baby... we had been at West's and were driving home. The girls had been discussing all the babies in their lives with West's daughter, Jayme. Trapped in the car, with no way to escape Tayler asks (sweet Tayler. Sweet, sweet, sweet, Tayler. How incredibly funny that this would be started by her, out of all my daughters), "Mom, how are babies made?" Not where do babies come from, but how are they MADE. I balked. I had always told myself that I would be straight forward with my girls. To be perfectly (and a bit embarrassingly) honest I had no clue about that area when I was a teen and even a new bride. My mom's version of "the talk" was to draw me the woman's anatomy. That really doesn't help with much. I have ovaries. Good to know, and the man's *** goes where exactly?... I wasn't ready for the question so I stalled. "How do you think, Tay?" She shrugs, "I dunno" in a way that implicates "duh, MOM, that's why I'm asking YOU." So I switch to Cas. Mostly I was curious to see if she had a take on it from hearing or seeing things from around us. Or at school. She was embarrassed and mumbled she didn't know. Which made me wonder how much she did know and didn't want to admit to. Fine. My girls need to know they can come to me with any question, especially of this sort, and if I play my cards with them correctly now, they'll still come to me later when it matters a bit more. So I stuck with my original plan to be straight forward with them. Age appropriate straight forward that is. If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know. (Let me make note right here that Cali was asleep for this). "Well, it's called sex. A husband puts his penis in the wife's vagina. Something called sperm comes out of the penis and goes into the wife's uterus where babies are made in a mommy's belly. When the sperm touches the egg in there it turns into a baby that grows in a mommy's belly." A unanimous "EWWWWWWWW!" I took that as a good sign. But sweet little Tayler wasn't finished with me yet. "Have YOU ever done that MOM?" To which I answered, "I have you guys don't I?" And Tayler continued, "With WHO?" She was so astonished. Cas caught on at this point and at the same time I answered "You have a dad don't you?" Cas says, "Dad, duh." I'm very much looking forward to repeating this experience with Cali. At least I got three of them done in one blow... though I hope this isn't the end of it. I hope as they have more questions about it, especially as teens, that they'll keep coming to me.