I've decided to do family counseling with my girlies.
I don't know how to help them process their feelings from the divorce and all that has ensued since.
Frankly, I have feelings and issues of my own from the marriage.
I've worked with my bishop and today met with a councilor at LDS Family Services. I wasn't going to mention that I'm doing this, mostly because I'm being counseled too, but I figured, frankly, some of the things he said today were hilarious, and I know I'm not the only one who struggles in life, so perhaps someone can take these things to help themselves, as I'm taking them to help me.
I met with him on my own today to prep him with the happenings and goings on so he'll be prepared to meet with my girls next week. What he told me was I might as well forget about being single. I don't stand a chance at it, I'm toast.
He said I'm too... for lack of a better word and being completely unromantic "marketable".
That became a running joke through the whole hour. I did like these suggestions and plan to start using them immediately with myself and my girls.
He said I can't help anyone until I am solid in knowing that I am a beautiful, special daughter of God and am loved.
So that's the first thing I get to work on.
My self esteem issues.
He told me to write letters to my ex and write all the things that I've never been allowed to say out loud. For example "I hate how you made me do..." or "I can't believe you... to me." Then he said literally burn them. Strike a match and watch those letters, and remarkably the feelings attached to them, go up in flames.
He also said keep a happy journal, or an "I rock" journal. Only write the good things that happened or were said to me that day.
And finally he told me to buy loose leafs for the girls and a hole punch and every time they're sad about their dad, or miss him, to sit with them and write and draw a memory with them about him, and put it in their book. He said start back as far as I and they can remember and go all the way through the divorce and his wedding.
So those are the things I'm going to start doing.
4 comments:
I feel like counseling is good for everyone, even people that have good, happy lives, although I haven't been recently, and probably should, it has helped me a lot in my past, way to go for going and seeing it as a good thing and not something that you "Have" to do.... It will definatly help your girls!
I wish you knew just how much I needed this today! Thank you for posting it and sharing...maybe I too will have to start another blog. We should find some time to hook up? Want to bring the girls down to my place and let them play the wii while we get to hang? :)
I think I want counseling too...sounds really helpful. Thanks for posting. sorry about West. That stinks. I personally think he is just bummed that you won't be the 5th element girl...ha ha! Way to go in standing your ground on that one! : )
When do i get to watch the girls so you can have a little time off?
Wow, I love those ideas. I'm a supporter of counseling. I think there are people in this world who can really help us figure out lifes crazy issues. I hope it helps you and the girls.
Also, you ARE a very beautiful and marketable daughter of God, I agree!
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