new beginnings and other things

I've been stalking a "new" blog lately.  She's wonderful and I love to read the things that she writes.  If you haven't heard of her blog, 71 Toes, you've heard of it now.  What an amazing woman (I want to be like her when I grow up).  She's written a book and Blossom on the Vine is giving it away. 

I want to win.

Given, I never win give aways, except that one time when a whole box of gum ended up on my door step, but other than that I never win give aways.  This one is worth trying for. 

If I don't win I'll just have to buy the book on my own.  I love reading her that much. And her story is incredible.

Over the weekend I learned that I need to be a better budgeter.  I hate budgets.  Loathe them.  Mostly because I'm sporadic and spur of the moment, and when I want to do something nice for someone, or buy something cute for my circus or my man, or if I want to start a project, I want to do it now, and not when I have a minute to sit down and fit it in to my budget.

How do you survive budgeting?  I need to figure out a way that this can work for me.

I've decided I'm not going to survive my girls being in Young Women's.  I have watched all four of my girls go to kindergarten with out a single tear, but our first New Beginnings and it's all I can do to hold myself together during Casidee's spotlight.  And all they did was give her flowers and a YW pendant...

I'm so proud of my circus and the choices they make daily, and the people they are becoming. 

The theme for Young Women's this year is Arise and Shine Forth.  I love it.  It's so full of action.  Check out this music video.

Disco cupcakes for New Beginnings:

They literally shimmered, it was the neatest thing.  The young women loved them.

it must be really hard having to do two things at once. I feel really bad for you.

Yesterday I came home from work and was bombarded for requests to help with Valentine's boxes from the circus.  Tayler had brought a note home from her teacher saying she needed one so we put our heads together and came up with this:

I only helped her with the hot glue gun and the card hole.  She did everything else all on her own.  I think it turned out great.

Sean came home from his time with his mom and informed us that he still needed his box.  They, of course, were due at school today.  Everyone else got put on the back burner since they only wanted one, not needed one.

So last night we pulled out paper and boxes and the hot glue gun and set to work, while I cooked dinner.  We had a small time crunch with Sean having Cub Scouts and me needing to get to Young Women's.

Sean watches me move back and forth from helping him cut and glue paper, to watching the taco meat cooking on the stove and says, "Man.  It must be really hard having to do two things at once.  I really feel bad for you."

His box turned out like this:

we even cut the bottom off the top box, and a big hole in the bottom box so his cards will fall all the way through and have more room to fit. 

This weekend I get to paint the kitchen.  I think The Man is a lot like me.  He just needs time to get used to an idea.  To warm up to it.  I have a green light on both of my color schemes, well, using the compromise of not doing whole rooms but accent walls, and I'm definitely okay with that.  It's going to look amazing, I can't wait.

The circus must have been hungry last night because they ate all of the taco meat before I was able to get any.  The Man offered to make more while I was at Young Women's and I could just eat when I got home.  How would I survive without him?

So off I headed (with Sean in tow for Scouts) to make these awesome puppies with the Laurels.

{original idea came from here}

I thnk the pink and white ones are my very favorite.  They look so... dainty. 

And they celebrated my birthday with me.

I keep fighting the fact that I know I should probably eat healthier, but I just don't want to. 

Confession: I don't drink water.  Except maybe at night I'll drink a glass before bed.  And it's not that I don't like it.  I do.  I just don't reach for it.

So I bought this:

I need to drink three of these bad boys a day.  The lid even helps me keep track of how many I've had.

I'm sitting here thinking of how much water that really is... 

That didn't last long...

My boss and the Chief Investigator gave me $15 in a gift card to McD's for my birthday.  It would be rude for me to not use it.  Especially when the card said it was for my cokes.  (Do they have me figured out already or what?)

Giving back, but taking more

I remember how hard it was right after my divorce.  Not the fact that I got divorced, I've actually been very at peace with that decision.  It was most definitely the best thing I could have done.  But what I'm thinking of is how hard church was.

I was already on the brink of inactivity.  Cali was such a force of nature.  Who am I kidding? She still is.  Cali, at three years old would act up.  She would get irate that she couldn't sit by me because her sisters got there first.  Or throw a tantrum over... who knew.  And I would have to take her out of Sacrament Meeting.  But what stressed me out was what was I supposed to do with the other three girls?  They weren't exactly old enough to sit there on their own.  Tayler was four and Casidee at the oldest was seven.  And without fail Cali would start her tantrums... and I was stressed beyond anything every Sunday.
I dreaded church.  It tried me on every level.  The place I was supposed to be gaining strength and support, was my biggest trial.
Some how I made it through that period of life.  I still go to church on my own, and the girls are now old enough to sit quietly (with a lot of shushing from their mother). Even Cali can quietly content herself with the church books in our bag for the hour.
A few weeks ago we had a tweak in our bishopric, essentially adding a new member to it.  Last week I saw his wife, across the chapel, walk out, carrying a not yet two year old, very fussy, twin daughter in her arms, while her other not yet two year old twin daughter and her five year old trailed behind her.
And I felt all the tenderness of the trial of that moment.  Only hers is a greater sacrifice than mine was because her husband wasn't sitting with her out of service to everyone else.
I had no doubts about what she needed.  And I had no doubts about what it was I was going to do.
Yesterday I sat with her.  I didn't have the circus with me, they were with their dad.  But I sat with her and in the first half hour of the meeting the twin girls started getting on each other's nerves.  She pointed out afterwards that it's at that point that it's all over for her.  Once they start in on each other there's no turning back.
But this time, she was able to take one into her lap, and I was able to take one into mine, and they were able to get their own attention, away from each other.  And she was able to sit through the whole meeting, with out having to take her kids out.
Maybe I didn't hear anything those speakers said yesterday.  But as I held that little girl on my lap and pointed out pictures in a book to her, I have never felt my heart so full. And next week the circus will be right there with us.  Doing the most simple of things, sitting with these little girls.  And maybe next week with the circus there to point out pictures in books to them, we mother's might actually get to listen to a thing or two.
I didn't have anyone helping me when I was in that particular situation.  But I have had help in my life when my needs have been great.  And I am truly more blessed than I deserve. How grateful I am to be able to give back a little.  And even as I try to "give back" a little, I think I'm still going to walk away from this experience taking more than I gave.

Our True Identity.

RS retreat (Happy 29th... again... Sarah)

My ward had our RS retreat in Huntsville at the house of a lady who used to live in our ward. Sarah heard from a co-worker that the world's largest St. Bernard is dead and stuffed in a cafe in Huntsville. This St. Bernard is in the Guinness Book of World Records and we decided that we just HAD to get our picture with it. We pulled into the cafe that Sarah thought it was in. She was told it was on the other side of town in the Shooting Star Saloon. Hmmmmm... saloon? We headed to the retreat. Happy 29th birthday... again... Sarah!
Julie, me, Sarah... no flash and flash :)
My across the street neighbor Amanda. When I can't find Cali I call her. That's usually where I find her. So Sarah, Julie, poor Marylou, and I headed out after the retreat to find this saloon and our "world famous" giant St. Bernard. After a few wrong turns (is Huntsville big enough to make a few wrong turns? Apparently so. Of course, the did have ME driving!) we finally found the place... and it was CLOSED! We hunted for that dang dog all night long. What kind of bar is closed at 10:30 on a Friday night? Sarah and I are determined to go back. We WILL get our picture with that thing!

RS General Broadcast live and in person

I'll love Audrey til the day I die... what a perfect friend for me! It had been WAY too long since we'd done anything together (I think the last time was Feb of 07 when she and her kids came out to visit me in hell, oh, I mean Vernal). I was able to get tickets to the conference center and thanks to Jason babysitting for Audrey (and my nephew babysitting for me) we headed into downtown Salt Lake with a few minor scary car mishaps (Audrey on her cell "it skips... chugga chugga chugga" Jason on the other end "yeah it does that..." Audrey a little later on her cell "it died three times while were idling" Jason "oh well now that's a new one").
We payed five bucks to park in a podunk autoshop and then hiked it (sans heels for me, I'd rather carry them than walk that fast in them!) the couple of blocks to the conference center where our purses were checked and in we went. (of course shoes back on by this point). What a beautiful building. I've been there a before, but it always amazes me. Here's just a few quick things I wrote down while I was listening. I didn't write down a lot, but these things struck me.
Pres Julie B Beck said, "It is time for the Relief Society to fullfill its purpose as never before." "We have a duty to defend our family." "If we heed personal revelational we shall not fail." Barbara Thompson, 2nd counc (she's so funny I loved her) said, "Often the help needed of us is in our own homes." And Pres Dieter F Uchtdorf said, "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." He spoke on how we as women often undervalue ourselves and what we do. My thoughts kept going to my girls and my life as a single mom in general. I have a work to do, and as hard as it absolutely is, I'm thankful for it.
After the broadcast Aud and I struck out to Baskin Robbins... it was SO good to have caught up for a night with that pretty lady Jason is always chasing in thier blog! :)